I destroyed my virginity toward same guy I have been with since I have ended up being 19. I am now 26 nonetheless very drawn to him, and can’t envision becoming with anybody else. But I’ve started visiting international lesbian dating site and typically fantasise about ladies, though I feel responsible. Would it be incorrect to inquire about my personal companion basically could experiment with ladies? We don’t want to harm men and women, but I desire a discreet but truthful love affair with a woman.

There’s no “right” or “wrong” right here. Only you and your partner will make a wisdom thereon, dependent on precisely what the fidelity contract is actually between you. Ideally, you may have a relationship in which you is generally reasonably honest – particularly in such a profoundly crucial case as this. Covering a person’s intimate positioning can be unpleasant and harmful, but similarly, there can be severe ramifications whenever one discloses needs that weaken a partner’s expectations.

But you need to be seen and appreciated for who you truly are. In the place of getting some other women with a view to having an affair, look for some strong help inside the lesbian neighborhood. Give yourself a while to explore your thinking and emotions. When you are sharper – just by what you want sexually, and how you would like to enjoy life with whom – start to have those vitally important discussions with all the guy with whom you started your own intricate, adult sexual trip.

Pamela Stephenson Connolly is actually a psychotherapist which specialises in treating sexual issues